#Miss bimbo vs bimboland tv#
And, she wasn't overweight either.Īnd, what about Paula Jones? No one really knows what happened between her and Bill Clinton, but we do know afterward Jones also got plastic surgery, lots of TV time, and more cash than she would have ever earned in her former job as a low-level government employee.Īnd, I'm not even going to mention Gennifer Flowers, lounge singer and famous-for-who-she-slept-with, "Larry King Live" guest. Hahn, after revealing a sexual encounter with televangelist Jim Bakker, got plastic surgery, appeared in a Playboy centerpiece, got a radio talk show, and made a bunch of money through public appearances. Remember Donna Rice, who dethroned Gary Hart from the presidency with a lot of monkey business on a boat called Monkey Business? Our gal Donna, who suffered from being underweight, found a new career as a model for Guess Jeans.Īnd then there was Jessica Hahn. Heck, you don't even have to be overweight to be a Bimbo, either. Now, I'm happy to discover we live in a country where, with the right amount of savvy, desperation and determination, anyone can take public humiliation and turn it into personal income. Does this seem slightly ironic to you? I don't know what you think, but to me, the words "deferred gratification" and Monica Lewinsky just don't seem to fit together.īut, that of course, was before I started learning the ways of the Bimbo. Yep, Monica on one weight loss circuit and Sarah on another, both preaching the gospel of redemption through self-denial and moderation.
And, now she's touting the benefits of Weight Watchers. Then, I flipped on the radio and with my Bimbo-radar fully active, what should my ears hear but the voice of Sarah Ferguson, aka Fergy, aka the former wife of Prince Edward, caught nude on a beach with a man who wasn't Eddie. Heck, for that kind of money, I could resist every cheeseburger between here and the Middle East. Personally, considering how far she has already gone, I don't understand why she doesn't drop another four pounds and bring her payoff to an even $500,000. And, in very unBimbo like fashion, she astutely pointed out that getting a real job with her background is, well, a bit difficult.Īt that moment, I started thinking Monica was missing opportunities in her new career. In my current broke, overweight state, I took comfort in knowing Monica's got bills to pay like everyone else, or so she told Larry. She was bound to learn something from all the time she spent in the Oval Office. Well, you didn't think she was going to do it for free, did you? Come on, give the girl a little credit. Yes, she's getting paid $10,000 for every pound of ugly fat she sheds. That will bring her weight loss to a grand total of 46 pounds, worth $460,000.
#Miss bimbo vs bimboland full#
So far, a slimmer-trimmer Monica said, with those large lips of hers smiling bigger than a full moon in October, she has lost 31 pounds! And, she confided to Larry, and several million of her closest friends, she hopes to lose another 15 pounds. Instead of providing special services to The President of The United States, she is now hawking the benefits of Jenny Craig Weight Loss Centres. Monica, the former White House intern whose talents were in something other than typing, has a new role. In case you were on Planet Zircon this past week and failed to see Monica Lewinsky's appearance on "Larry King Live," let me clue you in. Not only do they look better, but now they've got money, too. Instead of being the butt of jokes on late-night television for free, they have become spokeswomen for weight loss clinics. I have learned this from watching Monica Lewinsky and her Royal Lowness Sarah Ferguson, formerly known as the Duchess of York.īoth of these women, scorned, overweight and broke, have discovered the joys of this new career. In Bimboland, every woman is rich and being overweight is an asset.
Now, normally I'd despair over such difficulties, but that was before I learned there was hope. DAWN DRESSLER: Monica Lewinsky, Sarah Ferguson show benefits of BimbolandĬhristmas is gone, and I am facing two problems.
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